here is my talk on accountability. i gave it in the seneca ward on 12/11/11. take a few minutes and read it!
Good morning brothers and
sisters. I am excited for the opportunity to speak to you all today. To begin,
I would like to tell you just a little about myself. My name is Kellye Smith. I
am originally from Lexington, Kentucky but I moved here from Columbia with my
husband this summer when he accepted the band director position at Seneca High
School. Then, in the middle of band camp, we expanded our family with the birth
of our first baby, our sweet boy Evan. I now am so blessed to be able to stay
home but I did work before. I have a degree in music education from the
University of South Carolina and was a band director in Charlotte at a private
Catholic high school. One of the more interesting parts of working for a
private school was attending the school-wide, mandated religious services. I
hardly remember anything from these occasions but I doubt I will ever forget
one mass I heard. We had a visiting archbishop from a nearby university
delivering the message for the mass. He was preaching to a group of high schoolers
and did a very good job of making it relevant to them and talked about choices.
He explained to them that we all have choices to make daily, some more
significant than others. He talked about choices prophets of the bible had to
make and how the students could learn from those experiences of the past to
help them make better choices today. As he began to close his sermon he quoted
John 14:6 where Christ says “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” And then he finished
his sermon with this line, which I will never forget- “So frankly, you can
either choose to follow Christ or you can all go to…” and I will let you all
fill in the blank. He then sat down. In a high school gym filled with 1200 high
school kids, you could have literally heard a pin drop at that moment. At first
I, like everyone else in the room, was completely awe struck that he had
actually said that, especially to a group of teenagers. But the more I pondered
on it throughout the day and heard kids talking about it, because it was
certainly the topic of conversation for the day, I began to realize that he was
exactly right. Elder Randall K. Bennett of the seventy put it a little more
eloquently in his last general conference address when he said “In reality, we
have only 2 eternal choices; choose to follow the Savior of the world and thus
choose eternal life with our Heavenly Father or choose to follow the world and
thus choose to separate ourselves from Heavenly Father eternally.”
The key word in both of these
men’s quotes is choice. Our Heavenly Father gave all of his children the gift
of agency, meaning the ability to choose and to act for yourself. Elder Bennett
continued, “Your eternal destiny will not be the result of chance, but of
choice.”
Choice is a wonderful gift; it
was given to us from the beginning and will continue to be ours for all of
eternity. Our use of this gift determines our happiness or misery in this life
and in the life to come. Lehi, the first great prophet of the book of Mormon,
stated that with agency, we are “free to choose liberty and eternal life,
through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death,
according to the captivity and power of the devil.” And while we are free to
act, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.
Although
I know very little about science, I do remember Newton’s third law of motion
which states “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” In
life we can liken the action to a choice and the reaction to consequence and
just like the reaction is an inevitable part of motion, a consequence is an
inevitable part of choice. A major difference between the law of motion and
this law in our life is that in motion, the reaction is immediate but in life,
it is not always so. Sometimes it can take days, weeks, even years to see the
consequences of our choices, but they will come, for good or bad. Choices of
good and righteousness lead to happiness and peace, while choices of sin and
evil eventually lead to heartache and misery. Allow me to share 2 simple
examples from my own life. First, a bad choice. When Matt and I were engaged,
his family all got together for Memorial Day. This was the first time I was
going to meet a lot of his extended family and I was not happy because I
thought I desperately needed a haircut. In my desperation, I decided to let
Matt cut my hair before we left. This was a bad choice with immediate
consequences. Not only was my hair now very short, it was also very crooked.
Needless to say, I have never repeated that choice. Now, a good choice. When I was
a child, I decided to keep a journal. This is a habit I have maintained
throughout my life. Although sometimes when I’m writing at night I feel like my
words are pointless and mundane, I cannot tell you how many times I have read
back in my journals and been helped by my own words, feelings, testimonies, and
experiences that I forgot I had even had. So while this choice does not
generally bring any kind of immediate reward, not only have I helped myself but
also I hope that my words will mean something to my children and their children
some day.
Although
neither of my examples necessarily have eternal implications, many of our
choices do. President Thomas S. Monson has taught: “I can’t stress too strongly
that decisions determine destiny. You can’t make eternal decisions without
eternal consequences.” “Wrong choices delay your progression and lead to
heartache and misery. Right choices lead to happiness and eternal life. That is
why it is so important for you to choose what is right throughout your life.”
The
last statement I just quoted is from the for strength of youth pamphlet under
the heading “agency and accountability”. The young women’s program of the
church focuses on 8 values, one of which is choice and accountability. In both
of these, choice and agency, which are essentially the same thing, the word
accountability follows. What does accountability actually mean? Webster defines
it as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility for one’s
actions.” I’m not sure that definition is 100% correct. Willing or not, you are
accountable for your actions, and in the end you will be the one who must
answer for all the choices you made, the good, the bad, and the ugly. The for
strength of youth pamphlet continues, “You should not blame your circumstances,
your family, or your friends if you choose to disobey God’s commandments. You
are a child of God with great strength. You have the ability to choose
righteousness and happiness, no matter what your circumstances.” The tag line in the personal progress
book for choice and accountability reads “I will choose good over evil and will
accept responsibility for my decisions”; first the choice, then the
accountability.
Accepting
responsibility for our actions is also a sign of maturity; perhaps this is why
is a focus in both of these programs for the youth of our church. Elder Derek
A. Cuthbert of the seventy, in his 1982 general conference address, said “It is
not being accountable that brings maturity. It is realizing that we are
accountable, acting accordingly, and being prepared to give an accounting to
those in authority over us and eventually to the Lord himself.”
We
are accountable for not only the choices we make, but also for how we use our
talents and time and how we treat those around us. We have a responsibility to
develop the abilities and talents our Heavenly Father has given us. President
Joseph Smith, the prophet of the restoration, said “God judges men according to
the use they make of the light which he gives them.” I remember from my junior
year of high school seminary class, which was over the New Testament,
discussing Matthew 5:15 in relation to the use of our talents. “Neither do men
light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth
light unto all that are in the house.” Brothers and sisters, are we hiding our
light, our talents, under a bushel so that none, not even ourselves, can
receive the benefit of the gifts we have been given? Sometimes, when I am asked
to play the piano for church, I think to myself “again? Do they think I can do
nothing else?” and then I think back to my 6 year old self who, while watching
the organist in sacrament meeting, leaned over to my mom and said “I want to
learn to play the piano so I can play for church someday.” Not only do I feel
accountable to my Heavenly Father for the gift of music in my life but also to
my parents, who put a lot of their time, energy, and money in helping me to
achieve my goals, and even to myself, because of all the time, energy, and
money I have put into music. So for those reasons, I always say yes and
honestly, I’m always happy I did.
We
are accountable for how we spend out time. We should not be idle with our time
and we should be willing to work hard. God condemns idleness and is not pleased
with those who are lazy. He said in doctrine and covenants 75:29 “The idler
shall not have place in the church, except he repent and mend his ways”. We
should find a proper balance between work, recreation, and rest. I think of my
dad when I think of someone who knows how to use their time wisely. When I was
in high school, my dad owned his own construction company, was bishop of our
ward, and still managed to be highly involved in the field crew for mine and my
sisters high school band. I don’t think he ever missed a football game or a
competition in the five years we were involved. He and my mom also made time
for each other by doing little things together often. And in all of that, he
still saved a little time for himself and was able to keep up with his hobbies.
He was and continues to be a great example to me of how to not be idle and to
make the most of the time the Lord has given you.
Finally,
we will be accountable for how we treat others and the service we render
throughout this life. President Gordon B. Hinckley said “I would hope and pray
that each of us would resolve to seek those who need help and lift them in the
spirit of love into the embrace of the Church, where strong hands and loving
hearts will warm them, comfort them, sustain them, and put them on the way of
happy and productive lives.” The Savior stated “By this shall all men know that
ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” Our opportunities to
serve and love are endless. We can show our discipleship at church, at work, in
our communities, and most importantly, in our own homes. President Thomas S.
Monson taught “what is most important almost always involves the people around
us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should
never assume; we should let them know. We will never regret the kind words
spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are
omitted from our relationship with those who mean the most to us.”
In
conclusion I challenge each of us to evaluate the choices we are making and
their consequences by asking ourselves these questions from Elder Bennett’s
talk:
Am I
seeking divine direction through daily scripture study, pondering, and prayer
or have I chosen to be so busy or apathetic that I don’t take time to study the
words of Christ, ponder them, and converse with my Heavenly Father?
Am I
choosing to follow the counsel of the living prophets of God, or am I following
the worldly ways and the opposing opinions of others?
Am I
seeking the guidance of the Holy Ghost daily in what I choose to think about,
feel, and do?
Am I
consistently reaching out to assist, serve, or help rescue others?
Brothers
and sisters, as stated earlier, our eternal destiny will not be determined by
chance, but by choice. The good news is, it is never too late to choose eternal
life.
I
bear my testimony that I know the things I have spoken today are true. I am
thankful for a loving Heavenly Father and the restoration of His true and
living gospel.
In the name
of Jesus Christ, Amen.
